How about this for an opening sentence, following England’s third defeat in a row to India in their current one-day five-match series?

By the end of a game that had all the competitive elements of a day of seal clubbing, there could be no masking the flaws in the England ODI side. 

Thank you George Dobell on espncricinfo. Never let it be said that writing about cricket  lacks color or violence. I’ll have more to say about the woeful England one-day international (ODI) set up when they lose (as they almost inevitably will) the final game. Until then, readers, reflect on the awfulness of England and the barbarism of the sealer.